Five things to avoid doing in Argentina (including talking about “The Hand of Rod”!)

Piture is of Alan and Mary from Switzerland riding on La Margarita - Alan riding for the very first time (16.01.09)

Being a Brit and living in Argentina there are two very obvious subjects us ex pats normally try to avoid. If you are a Brit reading this you will probably have a good idea which two subjects they are:

La Guerra de Malvinas (but to us Brits the Falklands War) is one.

Certainly not Maggie’s finest hour indeed if she even had any at all! “la guerra de Malvinas ” as it’s known here is a subject which gets mentioned every time there is an election where the new powers to be resort to telling the public that one way or another they will reclaim the forgotten islands – well, forgotten by most Brits that is. The reality is that in my years living here I have only ever had one episode which led me to believe that the Argentine person talking to me didn’t like the fact that I was a Brit because of the war– at the time I was in a cab and the driver must have somehow realised that I was a Brit and I starting to hear him mention Las Malvinas – by the tone of his voice it was pretty clear he wasn’t happy. Problem was I couldn’t speak Spanish at the time so I had no idea if he was unhappy with me or with the Argentine Military Government who sent totally unprepared solders to a war they had no hope of winning. Nothing happened to me and we parted amicably. However no matter what one thinks of the war it is obviously better not to mention it – it still has painful memories for those who suffered in this shameful event.

The Hand of God:

If the Argentine person talking to you realises you are a Brit he will mercilessly tease you about the infamous goal that made a mockery of fair play in the game of football . Your Argentine companion will tease you mercifully about the event asking you while flapping his hand in the air “y la hand of god”? obviously referring to Maradona’s most famous football moment (YouTube it if you don’t know what it is – it is disgraceful!!)– well at least to us Brits. I have managed to deflect the teasing these days by pretending I never heard of it and pretending not to understand what they are talking about by saying I don’t know any Rod - who is he, what did he do, is he Argentine?! – it sort of works, and at least gets the other person so confused that they drop the subject. Of course in reality we Brits know every slow motion movement into the build up to that fatal goal as its gets analysed every time we meet Argentina in a game. The sad thing about that goal (I use the word loosely), is that Maradona’s second goal in that game probably was the best goal ever scored in World Cup game – voted number one by none other than the Brits ( who said we don’t believe in fair play?) and it is that goal that my Argentine friends should be bragging about, because, no doubt about it, it’s a magical moment in the beautiful game – YouTube it and see how Maradona single handedly beat almost the entire English team ( after having beaten the ref with the first goal!) in scoring that goal and in doing so broke the hearts of us poor English fans – shame on you England grrrrrr

Ok, these two subjects apart what other tricky things should you not do when you visit this beautiful country?

First I would like to say that as in every country there are things to avoid and there are always people who will look to take advantage of you if you are a tourist, but and it’s a big but, it’s no worse than in most countries and you will probably feel safer here than in your own country – unless you live in Iraq (only joking!) So don’t have any fears about visiting us here - you will love it and almost certainly nothing bad (apart from drinking too much malbec wine and eating too much delicious steak) will happen to you. The things “not to do “will just make your stay even more comfortable.

Five not to do in Argentina

Don’t change 100 pesos notes with cab drivers. Your taxi driver will have collected a number of fake notes that he will want to unload asap – your 100 peso note gives him a great opportunity to do just that – try to give the taxi driver the right money – deal done

Don’t tip too high. In this I am referring to Americans who, as I have learned from the many that have come to La Margarita, in the USA tipping has now reached 20%. Not so in Argentina between 5-10% is ok and if the service is bad please don’t tip – it’s that simple. As regards taxis – there is no need to tip – just round up to the nearest peso is fine.

Don’t change money at the change house as you get your luggage in Ezieza – it’s a rip off! If you really need to change money before leaving the airport as you get into the main hall after clearing customs go to your right and you will see a change house and you will get a much better rate

Don’t drive without a licence –its illegal. I have faced the long arm of the law here by driving without my licence and I got a fine for my troubles.

Don’t take out all 100 note pesos from the ATM machine. There is a real shortage of change here and you will sometime find it difficult to change 100 peso notes. To get some change ask for say 490 pesos in the ATM – most machines will give up that – if they don’t find one that does – it will give you 400 pesos in 100 notes and 90 invaluable smaller notes . While we are on the subject of change you will find that we have a real shortage of small coin change here – if you get some guard it with your life - you will need it. You will also be asked at all shops etc if you have the exact money - tell them no and see what happens – if they refuse your purchase because you don’t have the right money it’s time to give up some of your jealously guarded change – if not you will get some more change – guard it! It is reckoned that companies such as the buses are charging up to 10% to customers who want to buy small change – you have been warned.

That’s it – oh, I nearly forgot there is a sixth thing - please don’t forget to come to Estancia La Margarita por favour.

This is David Cummings alias The English Gaucho writing this on a wonderfully lovely day sitting by the pool on Las Margarita – what a life.

Saludos

David Cummings

The Horses with No Names!

In my former life strumming a guitar for a living I was often asked to sing the wonderfully evocative song “A Horse with No Name” by America. The wonderful starting lick is a great one to play – taught to me by my good mate and excellent guitar player Tony O’Toole about 30 years ago. The Em riff sounds complicated but believe me (since I could play it) it is easier than it appears. It’s a great lick and an even greater song but what did it all mean? “I’ve been through a desert on horse with no name - it felt good to be out of the sun” sang the talented trio. It is a difficult song to resist. I know I have played it a thousand times and it always gets a great reception – it just never fails.

Ok what does this song have to do with happiness or La Margarita? Bear with me cos believe me it does and here’s why......................

When I purchased La Margarita I purchased some of the animals with it and some of those animals were horses. What happened was that after I had signed and exchanged for the estancia Enriqueta, the former owner, rang me and said I had a few hours to come up with the cash to buy 9 horses that were on La Margarita. After a few terse words from me (after all she had said that I had plenty of time to decide if I wanted to buy the horses not two hours!) we did the deal – after all I did need the horses. That weekend I drove down to La Margarita to inspect my purchase of potential Shergars, where I was greeted by Gomez the former caretaker on La Margarita and we both went into the fields in search of the horses I had purchased. When we found them I asked him what their names were. A broad grim lit up his toothless face as he looked at me in amazement. I wasn’t sure if it was my bad Spanish he couldn’t understand or my new trendy gaucho outfit I had lovingly purchased in Tapalque. It turned out to be neither as he explained that the horses had no names and that was the gaucho way. Names are for cissies seems to be the general attitude. Umm, I thought now I know how America came to write that song - they had taken a holiday in the Argentine pampas – it all made sense to me now.

La Margarita is a very traditional estancia and I like to keep it that way – keeping the traditions to me seems to make sense. There is too much change in this world in my view, so let’s keep the status quo. This therefore would apply to the horse’s names. Guests coming to La Margarita would often ask, as we were saddling up their horse “what’s my horse’s name?” I looked at Lalo our head gaucho and he looked at me as I explained that in keeping with tradition the horses have no names. “But we have to give them names” claimed our guests. After the hundredth guest asked us “what is my horses name?” I had a chat with Lalo and told him “amigo, necesitamos dar nombres for the horses” (we have to give our horses names). He chuckled, just as Gomes had all that time ago, and went off muttering something under his breath which sounded suspiciously like “ what will my boss ask for next - names for the cows? Why stop there? – let’s name the sheep and, hey let’s not leave out the chickens”. However, despite all his protestations, over the next few months we did name a few horses. One of them is called Dolores - named after a lovely and wonderfully eccentric guest from the USA by the same name (hi Dolores, how are you?). Another is Annie, named after a weird tablecloth-loving woman (just joking Annie!)who had ‘worked’ for a few months on La Margarita and who would have slept with the horses she loved so much if we had let her. But after that it was slow work. Lalo took his usual stance when guests got an unnamed horse and said with a genial shrug “no no tienen nombres”. However, Lalo hadn’t reckoned on the power of Anna and Adrian. Anna and Adrian booked to visit us as the first leg of their honeymoon at the start of December. Anna’s first passion on La Margarita was horse riding – her other one was making sure the horses were named. As far as she was concerned the tradition of not giving names to our horses had to be banned and during their stay on La Margarita Anna and Arian went about rectifying our ‘error’. On leaving all our horses had been given names. To our delight Anna and Adrian came back two weeks later, Anna because she missed Velvet so much - the horse she had fallen in love with and insisted on using every time she rode. Both were here to witness the arrival of a new horse we had purchased. Adrian immediately named it Cloudy Bay and disappeared into the distant pampas with the newly named Cloudy Bay.

So thanks to Anna and Adrian all the horse now have names but will Lalo keep up the new tradition. If the last week is anything to go by I and the other guests we had on La Margarita think it will be tough.

I don’t know where Anna and Adrian are now but wherever they have ended up this week, this is a very public thank you for coming visit is on La Margarita not once, but twice, on your honeymoon and for naming our horses – que tengan suerte ….

Just to say the final few days on La Margarita we had a ball with a wonderful mix of guests. We had Aaron and Giselle (sorry if I have spelt it wrong Giselle) our spies from Angola sorry Canada who every evening galloped of with Lalo on The Horses with Names for hours at a time riding over the never ending pampas. We had John and Matthew (our gaucho cyclist who proved that it is possible to ride into Tapalque from La Margarita as long as there are a dozen beer stops on the way!) together with their partners Charlotte who knows a good joke ( a bit short but funny all the same ) and Ann who knows a great drinking game (as long as your IQ is in the realms of Einstein) all from the UK. Not forgetting both Liz our Tango dancing New Yorker and Jo all the way from the linda highlands of Scotland. Wherever you all are now thanks to you all for the singing, the aerobatics lessons, jokes party games and general good fun- come back soon

Saludos and I wish all of you a very peaceful New Year

This is David Cummings alias The very English Gaucho writing on a hot day on Estancia La Margarita ,Tapalque looking forward to the challenges of 2009 – bring it on!