Kissing Confusion

Hola Todos
I am sitting in the wonderful living room waiting for our next guests to arrive on La Margarita enjoying the wonderful views that seem to go on forever from the huge French windows. A huge log fire is blazing away and Raquel (our wonderful chef) has just brought me nice cup of tea and homemade cake (what a life I have). It’s a brisk winter s day in July here and there is a bit of mist but it looks like the sun will be out very soon. It’s a day full of peace and calm - the horses are grazing in the field next to the gardens and the cows are laying down - no doubt waiting for the horses to buzz off and leave them some grass to eat! . Certainly these are days to treasure. Yesterday we said good bye to a great bunch of guests from the UK. The Sayers family Shane, Janet and boys came for three days and nights. John and Liz from London (who now live in Dubai) came with our youngest ever guest 3 month old baby Jake. The Sayers boys tried their hand at a day’s hunting with mum Janet going along as an observer and Dad as the leader. For the boys it was the first time they had hunted and I have to say well done boys since we ate well that night! John and I went for some nice rides in the campo and we talked about everything from polo to the credit crunch crises hitting the UK to life in Dubai. Liz gave me every encouragement to write the book that I have been threatening to do for a few years since I came to Argentina and even gave me the title “From Guitarra to Gaucho”. Ok you may ask what has all this got to do with kissing - well quite a lot really

Now my memory is not what it was I know that - a sign of advancing years I am told but it’s not that bad. I seem to recall a time when us Brits on greeting each other didn’t even offer one another one kiss on the cheek - let alone two. No we Brits offered a firm hand shake to each other (women as well) in that good old stiff upper lipped form that we call British (don’t you just hate all that stiff upper lip stuff). As we Brits stated to go on holiday to such exotic locations as Torremolinos and Lloret del Mar (don’t knock I had my first holiday there with my mates!) or took holidays on some French gite in the Pais de Calais we must have thought “hey let’s start kissing one another on greeting and get into that Common Market spirit” (that’s what the EU was originally called). So developed the one kiss on the cheek movement in the UK (course being British a quick blink and you would have missed it). Over the years we Brits must have thought “ok in for penny in for a euro this one kiss on the check is not enough no let’s try two”. Now we Brits kiss two times on greeting and for me it’s caused a bit of confusion. I mean I really got into the one kiss on the check but then I left the UK. So now when I meet Brits I automatically kiss once and pull away just as I am offered the other cheek of the recipient – see it can be confusing

It was the same in France when I went to live there. I lived in a ski station earning an honest living playing the guitar in various après ski venues. It was a great life, the stories of which I will save for another day. However, one thing always stays in my mind about my life in VT and it was the daily bread run! Now Val Thorens where I lived was inhabited by people from all over France who were working in the ski station. The problem came on greeting my French friends in the morning on my quest to get to the local bakers to buy my daily baguette. Now the French kiss anything from 2 to 4 times on greeting. On leaving my little studio I had to run the gauntlet of kisses. Everyone I met needed a different number of kisses depending on where they came from which was in its self hard to remember. There was also the problem of which side to start the kissing session. I can’t remember where it is in France (maybe the North ) but somewhere they kiss four times – I ask you four times – we Brits have just got used to two kisses and then you meet a French person who wants to do it four times – enough is enough . To be honest I didn’t mind the kissing and at times it was very nice (depending who it was of course). However as well as the kissing you would have to have a little chat about the weather, the snow the skiing or whatever. Sometimes if I met lots of friends on my baguette run what with all the kisses , the deciding how many kisses I had to do ( the starting again cos I made an error and kissed thin air!) and the little chat sometimes breakfast would have past and it would be time for lunch .

I guess one day it will all be resolved and kissing confusion will be a thing of the past. A law will be introduced to standardize all kissing in the EU – and why not after all there seems to be a law for everything else so why not this . Don’t think it can’t happen I just read that Gordon Brown has in his one umm not very good year as PM passed more new laws than any other PM in history – it’s on its way believe it .

Course I live in Argentina now and here there is no confusion. People kiss once here which is nice and simple. That is apart from the fact that the men also get in on the act and kiss each other (yep have to admit being a Brit that was quite a leap for me). So now the confusion is how well you have to know your new Argentina male friend before you plant a kiss on his unshaven cheek! I have to say I sometimes yearn for my baguette run in VT

Hasta La Vista

David Cummings
alias The English Gaucho

“Viva la Diferencia”

When I was working in France in the 80s the English guy I worked for said something to me that I always remembered. I said to him one day that they do things strangely in France. Can’t remember what I thought was strange but I remembered thinking at the time that the France did a lot of things strangely. He said they didn’t do things strangely they just did them different that’s all. I thought about it for a while and had to say in the end I agreed with him – all countries do it their way - it can seem strange but really it’s just different that’s all.

Now I have to say that since I have lived in Argentina I have had to revive my strange idea. Yup they do things different here but no doubt about it they also do things strange in my mind and here is a good example.

I was driving back one day from the Estancia La Margarita in Tapalque when I was stopped in a routine road check. It happens all the time in Argentina and normally I have no problem. However this time when the police man asked me for my driving license (which by law I am obliged to carry with me at all times) I realized I had left it at home. I was asked to follow him to the police hut where I was asked to sign a form admitting that I didn’t have my license and then I was asked for the details of the car and given a form which told me I had to pay a fine . Now the fine was not a surprise ( it was about 100 pesos 30$US) what surprised me was that he didn’t ask me to produce my driving license somewhere to prove I had one and that I was a legal driver . Nope he just fined me and that was it off I went. Now that seems to me strange because in the UK you need to prove that you are a legal driver and if you don’t have your license with you get 5 days tp produce it – if you don’t have one I believe they hold you in detention for 90 days on the Isle of White without trial (or is that just a rumour!)

To me it seems strange that they didn’t seek proof that I was a legal driver – my ex boss in France would say that it was just different – what do you think?

The English Gaucho from Estancia La Margarita

A Life of Order or Chaos

Us extranjeros who chose to live in this beautiful but at times troubles country often live in a state of confusion. On one hand we sometimes yearn for the order of things in our own countries and on the other we love the color and chaos of here. We want the smoothness of order but of course that order – that rigidness is one of the reasons why many of us left our country of birth in the first place. Course Argentina proves the point that you can’t have it both ways. Chaos is part of the way of life here and at times we dream of a bus or train arriving on time or people who don’t push in at queues or cars that don't try to kill you as you cross the street. However, just when the “I want order” part starts to kick in one often gets reminded of one of the reasons why we chose to live here. I was reminded once again just the other the other day. I needed to buy a toaster for Estancia La Margarita. I went to the local store on the corner of Santa Fe to do just that. A salesman came up to me and we started to negotiate the huge purchase of my new toaster. After we had reached an agreement he asked for my identity document and a whole load of other details. I explained that hey I was only buying a toaster not an H bomb but he said that’s the law and he had to ask. Don’t get me wrong he was very nice about it but it started to get me on edge. Once I had made my invoice I went to pay him. Um thought it wouldn't be that simple as I was pointed to go to another queue to pay for it. After about a ten minute wait I was asked for my money by a very nice lady – but not nice enough to stop a part of me saying to myself “why oh why cant the sales man take the money give me the toaster and that’s it – I mean that’s what happens in Dixon’s doesn’t and it’s a smooth as silk. After I paid I was then sent to yet another queue to take possession of my grand purchase. All the time I was muttering to myself about why couldn’t they change the system and have it just like it is in my country. Just as the doctor was about to administer a dose of valium to me I got served. Now this was no miserable person throwing a toaster at me while he scowled at the world. No, he greeted very nicely me and asked me if I was having a nice day and stated to look for the legendary toaster. When it arrived incredibly he took it out of the box and proceeded to show me how it worked and then plugged it in for me to show that it was working - he showed me the guarantee and carefully put it all back in the box. All the time we carried on a conversation about Boca his football team (Argos it wasn't!).

Maybe that’s it with counties that are chaotic people have time for one another – look at many counties that have chaos and you will find warm people. The problem with order is maybe it is robotic and that make the people the same - every thing has to run to order so the people have no time for each other.

My choice is chaos its more fun in the end - it may make life a bit more difficult but its def more fun Give me chaos anytime. I slip sometimes and think about order and how nice it would be to have but everything as is in my own country but some thing happens like my toaster experience and I am quickly remind of what a fabulous country this is to live - chaotic yes but fun certainly
What's your theory on why some countries are chaotic and some not? (by the way next time I will tell you about my driving license experience its incredible)


David Cummings alias The English Gaucho writing from Estancia La Margarita

Seeing TV stars

I have been accused a few times of saying that quality control in Argentina is not up to much. This is particularly true when buying furniture. What you see in the show room and what you get delivered to your house often don’t match up. However in the case of TVs I have to revise my opinion. I was in my gym doing some boring jogging thingy the other day and the TV decided to pack up for some reason. Now as you probably know exercise is very boring and without a TV it is impossible. I fiddled with the TV as you do but no joy and it just looked blankly back at me. I decided that there was nothing to do but take it to a TV repair shop. On taking it down from its space high on the wall of my mini gym I lost my grip on it and it went crashing to the floor hitting me on the head in it freefall to retirement . Now apart from a few scratches ( on me that is! ) nothing broke and it was a pretty long fall so I thought oh well lets plug it in. Unbelievable it was working and it still is. So if you are thinking of buying a TV buy one here in Argentina - they are as hard as nuts - at least thats what the bump on my head says!.

Go as slow as you like!

It was announced the other day that there would be more speed cops looking out for loony drivers doing a trillion miles an hour along the Pan American highway. The other day I noticed that there were indeed many more speed cops - so watch out if you are driving inside the Capital. Funny thing was though that the cops completely ignored all those old wrecks with no lights and probably no brakes doing 20 clicks an hour that are probably the cause of many of the accidents on the roads here . The theory must be if it is doing 20 clicks an hour it will cause no harm! Don’t you just love it – I do I really do it’s why I live here with all its quirks it’s a great place.